Coal in Infogrames/Not-Atari’s Stockings

  • Atari VCS Chief Operating Officer Michael Arzt: interviews himself with a sock-puppet:
    • Sock-Puppet: “You are very handsome and are shipping on time!”
    • COO: “These are both true, and you are entirely alive and questioning me, not just a filthy sock on my left hand.”
    • Sock-Puppet: “Please don’t put me on your cock again I don’t want to get pregnant/sticky.”
    • COO: “No promises.”
  • Previously in Not-Atari News

Takeaway is that the new VCS box is delayed until Spring 2020, maybe later, with a number of excuses, and some more case photos but no working demos anywhere. The cases do have connectors inside now, which is very exciting if you’re completely gullible, but there’s zero evidence from Infogrames that anything can be powered on and do something.

There’s a bunch more lies, such as that most Unity games will work on it; while it’s true you can recompile many Unity games for Linux, it often requires specific hardware and software configs, like the SteamOS, and the odds that Infogrames’ contractors who are building this have matched those configs is vanishingly small.

The “original software” they tout is a $100/year subscription to play classic Atari games, which you can get a bundle of for far less, existing consoles for $20-40, or “free” (pirated, but it’s been 40 years; meh) with MAME.

The actual reason they used IndieGogo is that IndieGogo doesn’t require shipping a product, you’re throwing money into someone’s pockets with no guarantees. I’ve been waiting since 2013-10-17 for the LotFP Hardcover Referee Book, Raggi says (posting a weekly update a month ago…) he’s still working on it, and I believe him because he’s an honest 6-years-late fuckup. I wouldn’t believe the Infogrames people if they said “le ciel est bleu”.