Spooktacular: The Crow

Back in the ’90s, young goth industrial Mark watched this once a week or two, just as background angry music vibes, often before doing a radio show or DJ set. “Palm-slam the VHS in and do all the moves” as it were. Now I have a DVD which is almost too good, I dunno what I’d do with 4K Bluray, since the film to me is that dark, blurry vibe. There’s terrible sequels & TV shows, and an upcoming whitewashed honkie sequel, which everyone involved with should die of shame. I’m only going to talk about the first one (and the original James O’Barr comic? Maybe sometime.)

Set on October 30th, “Devil’s Night” in the film’s world, I thought about waiting but I’ve got something else scheduled. And I need something a little more serious after the last few.

Eric (Brandon Lee) & Shelley are way too cute and nice, by now they’d be all cottagecore, Nightmare Before Xmas their favorite film, farmhouse and antique shop decorated with Hallmark® & pumpkins. But at this time, the returned Eric is all dark rage. Sarah the little girl and Darla the slut mom are kind of pointless, but it gives Eric someone to talk to in a few scenes. I hate Sarah’s voiceovers.

His first kill, Tin Tin, is messy, no fighting skill but superior strength & speed, putting his knives back in him. His preying on the pawnbroker is a show of invulnerability, and cold rage. He’s figuring out what he is and why.

“At least he didn’t do that walking against the wind crap, I hate that.”

Ernie Hudson as beat cop, occasional giant walking armory. I just wish he could do one Winston Zeddemore line.

Second kill of Funboy is all taunting and jokes and ironic killing with his own implements. Actually the first 3 are, arsonist T-Bird burned into his ride, but the last two (and all the thugs) stop being ironic.

“This is the really real world, there ain’t no comin’ back!”

Joyride with T-Bird, for once a bad guy recognizes that he’s in a horror movie and not the monster this time. Eric’s crow graffiti got more elaborate each time, after this he wouldn’t have time to draw these out before the cops arrive, even as slow and useless as they are in the city.

Boardroom meeting has a lot of Batman (1989) vibes. “Gentlemen!” in the same tone as painted-up Joker. Gang of disposable thugs. Invincible hero in black. But all the specific sides are backwards.

“I’m not Skank, that’s Skank right there. Skank’s dead!” “THAT’S RIGHT.”

Final church duel, with an almost mortal Eric and Top Dollar, and creepy sister thinking she can use the crow’s magic. Very Highlander, actually, I always expect lightning and Queen music here.

And then a gun with blanks, not checked for safety, shot Brandon Lee dead on set. They finished the missing scenes with the stunt double & bad CGI face swap.

“You didn’t say goodbye. And you’re never coming back.”

★★★★★