TES: Legends

TES: Legends finally gets its new-developer update! It might be playable now!

Update on Steam … update again because that update needed an update … binary not found. OK, look in the local files, it’s renamed “app.app”, which is stupid. Click, error.

status page:

Current Status: TES Legends is currently undergoing maintenance.

I mean, it’s Bethesda, so I’m lucky it didn’t clip thru the floor and fall out of the world.

Maybe tomorrow.

Bethesda #BE3

Rage 2 has the guns & blood of the idiotic rail-shooters I normally condemn, but it’s open-world and goofy. I openly laughed at the skeet-shooting carnival cannon. The rock show singing “Better get ready to kill better get ready to die” is a perfect tone setter for this. It looks like how Doom 1 played, fun and stupid. The environments look great, very cartoony and colorful. Down side, you apparently have to play some doofus “Ranger Walker” and endure bad dialogue on some mystical quest. I prefer games where you make your own character and do whatever you want. So… pass, but maybe if it’s discounted.

The Elder Scrolls: Legends card game is… not great. I love TES, I like card games and board games, but it’s very slow-paced, trick-card-based, and the story mode is often excruciatingly dull and dumb. Maybe now that it has a new studio Sparkypants, it’ll move into my casual-gaming slot. Bethesda didn’t talk about this change at all.

The Elder Scrolls Online, “MMO of the year” for the last 3 years, is my home world. Earth I tolerate, but Tamriel is beautiful and terrifying. Summerset is gorgeous and I’m just wandering around to solve problems, or kill world bosses, nowhere near done with main quest, and really far from finishing my jewelry crafting skill or Psiijic Order. I loved Morrowind and Clockwork City last year. The announcements for this year of a Werewolf-based dungeon DLC, and then Murkmire, eh. I don’t do the group dungeons much, and Shadowfen’s the worst zone in the game. More silly lizards in mud are not really what I wanted, but it’s free for me on ESO+.

I feel sorry for the shambling corpse of iD software, ever since Carmack fucked off to build rockets, Romero had a rough time for a while but he’s made a cool original Doom level, and Gunman Taco Truck with his kid, and has a new studio.

Doom Eternal? Couple bros in suits. “You want even more badass demons? We got twice as many!” Fucking punch it into a spreadsheet why don’t you? Goddamn how Doom has fallen, into a rail-shooter. Guy calls the character “The Doomslayer”, not “space trooper Henry Rollins”.

“Let’s hear it for Quakecon!” (very muted pity applause from like 3 guys who still care about Quake)

Prey, rail-shooter, couldn’t care less.

Wolfenstein reboots, ha ha BJ has two daughters so now you can be girls shooting guns in a grim Nazi world. Original Wolfenstein was fun, remember? Dumbass Nazis shouting “Mein leben!” as you shot them in a bright 16-color world.

So enough of that.

Todd Howard’s oral history of E3, and the new Skyrim platforms, are amazing. Watch the stream. Skyrim Alexa is just D&D, man. That’s what we do when we play any role-playing game.

Fallout 76? I haven’t played Fallout in a long time, since Fallout 1 on classic Mac, a bit of Fallout 3 on PS3, and some of the iOS Fallout Shelter. But Fallout 76 being an online might be fun. Looks like they’re doing a megaserver like ESO. A bit of survival murder, a bit of building game. It’s kind of Unturned but more hostile? Might be worth trying the BETA.

“I read on the Internet that sometimes our games have bugs?” —Todd Howard

Release on 14 Nov 2018? I’m surprised they’ve got this far without everything leaking everywhere.

The Elder Scrolls Blades: A mobile TES game? Procedural dungeons?! Town-building? YEEEK! Put me in a coma until it comes out! playblades once their servers come back up, it seems they’ve been E3-balled into failure so bad it can’t even return an error page.

A few seconds previews of Starfield, and TES 6. Zero details.