What I’m Watching: Infinity Train

Short Youtube/Adult Swim pieces are now on HoboMax, so I’ve binged the entire run in the last week.

In Season 1, a teen girl Tulip wants to go to game dev camp; briefly we see the screen and game, a PyGame starter project, on the blandest fake-Windows XP screen possible, but that’s probably how the Kids Today™ start in games, instead of typing in Super Star Trek. Disappointed by divorced parents, she runs away, hops on a train… and is in a magic train, hurtling through a wasteland pocket universe. Her entire purpose is to get back home, get to game dev camp, and she’s as rational and proactive as a teen can be; a little robotic sometimes.

Every “car” of the Infinity Train is a separate puzzle or weird environment. You find the door, do something to get it open, cross a catwalk to the next car. Sometimes there’s ways to go up and around, sometimes not. Passengers get a glowing number on their hand, like Logan’s Run in reverse, roughly according to how fucked up they are, and it goes down as they “learn lessons”. They pick up native “denizen” friends and enemies along the way. When the number hits 0, they get to leave. Sometimes.

S1’s companions are hilarious without being annoying, One-One is a ball robot very very similar to Wheatley from Portal 2, with two personalities. Atticus is king of the talking corgis (and is Ernie Hudson!). A high note is The Cat (Kate Mulgrew), your treacherous fixer frenemy type; a white Persian cat. Aside from eyerolling at teen angst sometimes (I went thru worse parental problems, and I’m… a giant mess. Hm. Where’s my Infinity Train?!), this is a great story.


S2 has continuity! A denizen MT follows in Tulip’s footsteps, with a new passenger and denizen friend. Since MT is punk and actually does things, I like this the most; there’s real moral choices, chances of failure, recurring antagonists, and there’s actual horrible or good consequences. You could quite happily stop here.

S3 unfortunately follows a racist cult dirtbag, the enabler leader of said cult, a small child, and a denizen tuba gorilla. I loathe both of these protagonists, and children crying annoy me. The tuba gorilla is OK, but we don’t really get any detail on her sad backstory. Even a racist’s comeuppance doesn’t make it better. They never show back up, so we don’t know what progress is being made.

S4 brings in two asian kids from BC trying to start a chiptune/rock band, namedropping YMO as an influence, tho later performances are more like Anamanaguchi. One is the good obedient kid, the other’s a rocker with no discipline, they get pulled in and scored together (mostly). The problem is the denizen is a magic flying desk bell who waffles between flirty and almost interesting, and the most annoying fake personality like a Melissa McCarthy (but it’s Minty Lewis, from The Regular Show), and antagonists are very weird and whiny for no reason, no real lessons are learned. There’s a couple fun short songs, I like little chip synths.

The first two seasons deal a lot with the infrastructure of the train, who’s running things, and what it’s for. This is awesome, right up my wheelhouse. S3 & S4 mostly annoyed me, and do almost nothing with the management of the train; we get some of it to the middle-end of S3.

★★★★★ S1
★★★★☆ S2
★★☆☆☆ S3 — only gets that high because of Amelia
★★★☆☆ S4

They’re still trying to get more seasons made, and maybe movies and comics (which I think would fit the story better? And allow them to go more adult, which this is clearly trying to do but being kiddified a bit), so go give HBO Max some viewership.

What I’m Watching: Yuru Camp △ S2, Kuma3 Bear

  • Yuru Camp △ S2: Following up on S1, S2 goes more into Shimarin’s backstory, Nadeshiko does some solo camping, the original club try a cold winter camp and endanger themselves, and then there’s a very long arc of a road trip, not entirely “camping”. The first parts held my interest and were the kind of relaxing with a few “Ooh, is there danger? There is not!” climaxes that I liked in S1.

The road trip got tedious very quickly, nothing happened except shopping, sightseeing. The background art is lovely, but there’s nothing developed or done in any of it. Edit that trip down to 2 eps and wrap some more casual camping at the end, and it’d be a much better season.

★★★★☆

  • Kuma Kuma Kuma Bear: Was recommended as another light, low-conflict show. Isekai but that’s almost totally irrelevant to the story. A 15-year-old girl financial wizard Yuna gets sucked into VR MMORPG, with the most ridiculously banal name possible: “World Fantasy Online”. That is some grade-A horseshit naming. The claim that this is the “first VR MMORPG” is arrogant, it should be accepted that this is like #25 and they all kill or suck in some players, standard disclaimer in TOS.

Doesn’t matter, she gets picked (doesn’t even die, or get “hacked” or anything) by Kami-Sama to go to a real fantasy world… with some uber-powerful “bear set” gear, bear pajamas like Lain’s but she can shoot fireballs, summon giant bear mounts/combat pets, and gets more and more powers by just grinding low-level “wolf” & “goblin” enemies. In most real MMOs that won’t get you past Level 10.

FWO has the totally generic “adventurer’s guild” setup, we rarely see what adventurers are capable of but none are on her power level, so it’s like Overlord without the goth, pathos, and complex plots. The aristocrats are all vaguely honest; Yuna at first thinks they’re going to be tyrants (like anyone who inherits power is IRL), but no. Most monsters are dispatched with a single blast, the few big bad monsters do require a little problem-solving and fight, but there’s only a few minutes of that. The few adversaries who show up are never given any backstory, you never see them do any evil work before (there’s like one dream-like sequence about one villain… it doesn’t matter), you’re just told “this is the bad guy!” and it’s usually a short fat dude with a moustache. They’re then rounded up without any effort.

All Yuna cares about is finding ways to recreate Earth’s food, instead of enjoying what they make; making silly bear-shaped houses; and picking up younger girls to mack on. The younger girls squeal at a pitch designed to make me and dogs howl, do not like.

The art’s often nice, background music & characters when it’s not a small squealing girl. They could have made a good show, instead it’s the blandest formula possible.

★★☆☆☆

4/20 Apple Event

Smoke ’em if you got ’em.

  • Timmy Apple dressing exactly like me (his watch strap is different) is not cool. He’s a fucking MBA from Duke & IBM, should only be in a suit or a track suit.
  • Moneymoneycard.
  • Purple iPhone.
  • Find My needs a noun. I suggest Find My Shit.
  • Geotracking every object you own is totally not creepy (even with privacy features).
  • Sofa cave is fucking awesome, I want a videogame of that.
  • TV+: BUY CONSUME THIS IS YOUR GOD
  • Using Queen songs to advertise fucking sportsball comedy: Lame.
  • TV 4K: Eh. Maybe fixes my mediocre TV. New remote is slightly better, but I want a 500-button universal remote for it.
  • Mac M1 is faster than everyone else, yes. I already have 16GB RAM in my six-year old iMac, and it’s barely adequate under Tacos Bug Sir macOS Big Sur. It needs to be 32, 64, or more GB for any serious machine now, but M1 is still limited to 16GB. So that’s a hard pass this year.
  • iMac color: Not just silver! But you can’t see the back on most desks, so there’s just the little bezel. I don’t want vibrant, bright, I want dark, black so black it eats light; not just because I’m Hotblack Desiato, I need neutral colors for pixel-fucking art; colors distort my vision! I don’t like wafer-thin, I want fat chunky computers with wind-tunnel fans for cooling. Losing 3″ from my iMac 27″ would be lame. Guess not.
  • iMac Keyboard: Actually looks like a really good improvement. I wonder if the big numpad boy with touch ID will even work on my old iMac? It’d be nice.
  • iPad Pro M1: Sweet, here an M1 with shitty 16GB RAM is excellent, because iOS doesn’t eat 8GB just to exist. I’m putting the 11″ & Pencil 2G on my shopping list; notebook, not giant wall of video. I don’t like any of the keyboard cases because they have no ESC key. I’d rather use a soft keyboard or carry around this silly Magic Keyboard. Of course, needing it depends on me ever leaving the house again.

Update:

iPad Pro models with 128GB, 256GB, or 512GB of storage will come with 8GB RAM, while iPad Pro models with 1TB or 2TB of storage will feature 16GB RAM.
Juli Clover

VR Micro Online

I’ve got a new project in the works, VR Micro

A shared infosystem based on spatial reasoning,
a world of many interconnected maps,
with documents and services physically represented as objects.
Users have avatars and can see and interact with each other.

The short version is, this is a file share, as a memory palace by way of graphical adventure games. It is to “real” (but costs too much and makes you puke) VR, as HTML was to “real” (but never shipped) hypertext like Xanadu: It’s small and simple enough to actually work. To be something a semi-normal person could run on a rented server and make some maps and share their thought world.

All I have so far is a spec, but I got the server stood up this morning, I expect to have a standalone client working soon™, and then can work on the server.

I plan to keep it all licensed BSD for code, CC-BY for content. You are of course encouraged to contribute feedback, source, content, and/or money.

Hey, you like this? Servers aren’t free. You know I have a Patreon tip jar up there? <rattle> <rattle>

Fantasy Inspirations of My Youth

This is a good “why are you like this” challenge:

If I’d been called on to run a D&D campaign at age 10 or 12,
these are the images and plots I would have drawn on to
provide the inspiration for my game. […] What were your earliest
childhood fantasy inspirations? What did your fantasy world
look like back then?
DIY and Dragons

I think these are roughly in order of age of discovery, publication date’s often very different. I was… the word schools liked was “precocious”, which just means I was years and years ahead of the curriculum designed for morons and they had no idea how to educate me, any more than an ape could educate a mere Human. The Tarzan problem. So I read and watched whatever I liked, and grew up weird. Giving me D&D and then Gamma World was just giving a junkie an endless needle.

  • Godzilla (1954): This is what dragons are like. Any kind of giant, dinosaur, or kaiju is a catastrophe you run from, not a “monster” you fight from horseback, those are just wyverns. I saw basically every monster movie and some sentai on KSTW-11, which only had budget for old movies and reruns.

  • Star Wars (1977), Splinter of the Mind’s Eye, by Alan Dean Foster (1978), Empire Strikes Back (1980): High-tech but just fantasy activity; as I learned later, Star Wars is The Hidden Fortress with spaceships, many scenes are shot-for-shot remakes.

    I’m trying to think what I learned from this, and I think it’s that every alignment can be cool. Obi-Wan Kenobi and Leia are Chaos, and they’re cool, tho if Leia wins she’ll establish a tyrannical monarchy again which is no good. Han Solo is Neutral, and he’s cooler than cool, and shoots first. Darth Vader is Order, choking out all dissension, and he’s THE COOLEST. Luke and Grand Moff Tarkin suck, but you can’t have everyone be cool or nobody is.

    Figure out your antagonists’ motives, take their affectations and crank them up to 11, and you have an EPIC hero or villain. Pity they never made any more Star Wars movies, I might’ve liked to see Revenge of the Jedi. I will take no email or comments to the contrary.

  • Bullfinch’s Mythology: While now it’s “oh that old thing”, Bullfinch did a fantastic job of covering Greek/Roman (more Greek, but with Roman names; Roman syncretism mapped names to their gods but their practices were different), Norse, and Arthurian mythos, including a lot of the poetry and literature that referenced them in the 2000 years since. Academic mythology books are too concerned with period beliefs and not how those ideas are used in later works, so they’re less gameable. The art in Bullfinch’s is also fantastic.

  • Edgar Rice Burroughs, John Carter of Mars, Tarzan of the Apes, Pellucidar: You know why everyone in fantasy worlds speaks Common? Because the Barsoomians have a common language by way of telepathy; Carter’s telepathy’s a little stronger than usual, so he can project it, but they all have it. The ruined cities, falling civilization, a hero trying to bring back glories, toppling false religions, it had it all. Tarzan’s ruined cities and ancient civilizations hidden in the jungle were awesome, literally set much of my campaign style. Pellucidar was so weird and dream-like, I barely understood it, but a plausible way for dinosaurs, Humans, and evil Mahars to coexist was amazing, too. It’s not a coincidence Eric J. Holmes, editor of Dungeons & Dragons Basic set, wrote a Pellucidar novel.

  • National Geographic: I had access to a big stack of old NatGeo from ’40s to ’70s. In particular, I devoured anything about Ancient Rome, Egypt, Greece, Mayans, & Aztecs. NatGeo of the time was astoundingly West-oriented and racist; I would’ve loved to know more about China, Japan, Korea, & India, but they were barely touched on. Africa was only ever presented as wilderness or savages, zero mention of modern cities. I have an eternal love of giant detailed maps from this time.

  • ElfQuest (1978): Very pretty, cutesy comics about cuddly little Wood Elves and their Wolf pets… Ha ha no, I lie, they’re vicious, backstabbing, eternally horny/drunk little bastards, the Trolls (more like Dwarfs) are venal scumbags, Preservers (Fairies) are insane pests, High Elves are supernatural psychopath villains, and Humans are the dumbest, meanest animals on 2 legs. Here’s how to throw all your dumb Tolkien racist shit out and have murderous Keebler Elves.

  • Michael Moorcock: The silver Elric books and bronze Count Brass books, I grabbed as soon as each new one came out, devoured them. Elric’s world is full of weird mystical secrets you can grab hold of, bargain with, steal, and use. Horrible monsters and demons are summoned up by fool wizards for lust or revenge, and spread Chaos in the world. Hooray, Chaos! We see in the decayed post-apocalypse of Count Brass that Order is just as poisonous, and can’t be recovered from. I didn’t encounter Moorcock’s weirder stuff like Jerry Cornelius until much later, presumably the local hillbilly bookstores didn’t order them.

  • Mervyn Peake, Titus Groan (1946), Gormenghast (1950): Literally my model of the megadungeon. The structure seems to go on forever, up and down, buried into the Earth. Strange structures poke out everywhere, mapping beyond the known halls is impossible. The inhabitants are mad. There’s little/no magic or monsters in the books, but they feel like there’s magic & monsters everywhere. Don’t read past the 2nd book, I didn’t as a yout’ and much later I didn’t like Titus Alone.

  • Katherine Kurtz, Deryni Rising (1970): Low fantasy proto-England with swordfights, witchcraft & ritual magic, treachery. The ongoing fetishization of monarchy and religion, and an “actual miracle”, finally soured me on the series, but the early books made it clear these are Human (or Deryni) fabrications. The consistent, low-powered but useful “magic” (or psionics, or mutant powers) are a good way to model magic in games. The Deryni are High Elves who don’t suck.

  • Gamma World (1978): The game that defined how I see role-playing games. Harsh, brutal, shockingly beautiful at times, erratic, full of impossible, anachronistic references. It’s fun, it’s not reality. Unspeakably deadly in most places, but two medieval dipshits having at each other with swords will take half an hour to whittle their HP down to nothing, and then the survivor will take months to heal; so you learn to cheat, to use poisons, artifacts, traps, tame monsters as pets, risk getting more mutations, so you can survive.

  • Robert Asprin & Lynn Abbey, Thieves World (1978): Absolutely should never have been given to an impressionable young Mark. Cruelty, treachery, black magic, and of course thievery in a corrupt hellhole end-of-the-Empire city called Sanctuary. Pretty much all my fantasy cities are a bit of Sanctuary.

    A very similar influence I encountered later was Fritz Leiber’s Fafhrd & the Grey Mouser. But I didn’t read those until late ’80s.

  • Thundarr the Barbarian (1980): The most formative thing possible. Every frame of even the opening title is inspirational. Jack Kirby designed this, and it shows. A mix of Gamma World, magic, Burroughs-type ruins, superhuman heroes.

    “In the year 1994, from outer space comes a runaway planet,
    hurtling between the Earth and the Moon, unleashing cosmic
    destruction! Man’s civilization is cast in ruins! 2000 years
    later, Earth is reborn, a strange new world rises from the
    old, a world of savagery, super-science, and sorcery! But one
    man bursts his bonds to fight for justice! With his companions
    Ookla the Mok, and Princess Ariel, he pits his strength, his
    courage, and his fabulous Sun Sword against the forces of evil!”

  • Clash of the Titans (1981): Ray Harryhausen’s masterpiece. The monsters are amazing, the gods are meddling jerks but not the center of attention, more amazing monsters, the dumb-ass hero and chick yada yada another amazing monster! The myths I’d read so much about were filmed. Pity that Perseus & Andromeda are so much more wooden than the monsters. The gods do indeed play games with the lives of mortals.

  • Heavy Metal (1981): I’d seen maybe one issue of the magazine at this time, it was definitely not sold to minors. But somehow I got into the movie, and when it came out on tape I got it and rewatched endlessly. The Lock-Nar itself is irrelevant, the framing story is silly. But “Den of Neverwhere”, “Taarna”, and to some extent “Captain Stern” and “So Beautiful So Dangerous” (“wanna do some nyborg?”) are all peak young Mark. “Harry Canyon” (ha) is great but I don’t really do urban SF. I’ve never found any real use for “B-17”.

  • Neil Hancock, Greyfax Grimwald (1982): What looks like a cute talking-animals and Dwarf book becomes something much deeper, as it turns into a sort of Buddhist Journey to the West-ish fantasy adventure. Collides fairy-world with real-world and actually made me think about what these worlds are. Not as gonzo as everything else here, probably the only thing with any philosophical merit.

  • Steve Jackson & Ian Livingstone, The Warlock of Firetop Mountain (1982): Surreal, dream-like, horrifying imagery, a true Mythic Underworld dungeon, a crazy Warlock, a nigh-invincible Dragon. And then there’s the game system, which was a perfect little marvel of design, Skill, Stamina, Luck, 2d6, that’s all you need (for fighter/rogues in a dungeon crawl), one of the biggest influences on how I make my own games.

  • The Day After (1983): … 14 years later, there’s a scene in The Fifth Element where Leeloo types “WAR” into the encyclopedia, and just breaks down screaming & crying on seeing what Humans do to each other. That was me.

    “WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU ALL?!” I asked, and keep asking, and they had no answers. And this is, like, an unreasonably optimistic scenario of nuclear war, because anyone gets to live long enough to wrap their dead family in plastic bags and worry about cancer, or looters eating fallout-poisoned food. So, growing up I had zero expectation that I’d live to see 2000, let alone another score of years after. Maybe we didn’t, and this is a final dream.

If I’d known about Ralph Baksi’s Wizards, it would fit right in, but I didn’t see that until mid-to-late ’80s.

I was already reading H. Beam Piper’s books by ’82, but I definitely didn’t read Space Viking or Empire until late ’80s, which are the ones that fit my ethos.

Robert E. Howard, H.P. Lovecraft, Clark Ashton Smith (discovered thru X2 Castle Amber) were late ’80s for sure. I know precisely that I read “At the Mountains of Madness” in 1986.

Raaka’tu, Zork, Ultima, Wizardry, and more computer games certainly influenced how I do videogames, but they didn’t teach me much world-building.

The D&D and GW games I ran early on were very formulaic retreads of B1 In Search of the Unknown, B4 Lost City, or GW1 Legion of Gold modules. Later I learned to make more creative worlds, but they’re still much the same framework & generated world madness.

I’ve probably never run a game which wasn’t: A) Post-apocalypse, often centuries, millennia later; or B) Just pre-apocalypse, and there’s nothing you can do about it but your actions are probably futile. Vast military horrors lurking on the edge of your vision.

I’ve rarely run anything with legitimate authorities above town headman who aren’t dead, completely corrupted, or too distant to care. Instead the adventurers, usually venal thieves and bastards, are the only force strong enough to fight the worse guy “villains”. I suppose some Call of Cthulhu, but I usually outfit the group for an expedition into weird lands, or they’re trapped in some Old One or Fungi from Yuggoth laboratory or whatever. I had a “king” and court in a Dungeons & Zombies game, but the entire power structure was like 20 knights including our new recruit PCs, and the necromancers and alien gods raising millions of ravenous dead, and the chittering spidery goblins in the dark, had other ideas.

Usually my games start out looking like medieval, ancient, stone age, or sorta spacey fantasy, and you rapidly learn the world was once very different from that. You get into other lands, or old bases full of artifacts from the time before. You go into space, sometimes, and find the colony worlds have their own problems. But you still keep looting tombs/bases and building power, because you live in the world you’ve been left, not the peaceful one you want.

What I’m Watching: Godzilla vs Kong

Focuses much more on King Kong than King of the Monsters. I don’t, I guess, object to that, but I’m a Gojira fan, not a “giant monkey whose story gets rebooted every 30 years like Spider-Man” fan.

I’ll try to keep this general, but I can’t talk about a few things without SPOILERS.

Bernie (Brian Tyree Henry) the Titan Truth podcaster is great, one of nature’s true kooks like Dan Aykroyd, but in a world full of monsters he should be a multi-billionaire star, not sneaking around alone. “Tap or no tap?” is my new introductory question. Just adorable. For once, the best character in a kaiju movie is a person.

The woman scientist, the child, the asshole & daughter from the last movie, are all annoying and should go. New scientist (Alexander Skarsgård) is fine, but so dull I forget who he is most scenes. Creepy Hans Gruber looking Apex exec and yet another damned Dr Serizawa, they can stay. And the Apex woman (Eiza González Reyna) is pretty, snarky, but suspicious, she’ll make a fine sequel villainess.

They’ve outdone themselves with the child this time. She’s “native”, deaf, and carries around a shitty handmade Kong doll. “Aww”, says any moron with no brain, only a limbic system. But she’s snide in sign language, always underfoot and distracting people with work to do. There’s no way she should be on an adult mission. Everything you hate about children in kaiju movies wrapped up in one. And you know they won’t kill her as she deserved from scene one. Ugh. Every time I see the brat I mutter “GET THE CHILD OFF THE SCREEN”.

Kong’s soft and cuddly and domesticated, very much a giant gorilla suit with a slightly pudgy wrestler inside. Ludicrously they transport him at one point with choppers. Kong doesn’t like choppers much, but here he’s placid as a sleepy puppy, instead of screaming and throwing things at them. He does eventually toughen up.

Gojira looks great in this. The Legendary CGI will never be as alive as the Toho suits, but his face is super expressive and yet alien, non-mammalian. He swims well, and looks most natural there. He looks like a dinosaur’s god. The sparklers on his spine and his fire breath have been made too white and clean, they’re more nasty nuclear fire in older ones where it’s just painted onto the film cels.

The hollow world is gorgeous. Maybe too small? It’s a cavern layer around the core of the Earth, or something, it’s not entirely clear how it relates to reality. They could easily have spent another 30 minutes here and made something great of it. Maybe next movie.

With the Ancient/Titan artifacts and place… are the Titans descendants of the Ancients? Everything’s on their scale, he acts like he’s come home. But Kong picking up a tool is a long way from him being descended from giant people.

The main fight is good, bouncing around a neon-lit Hong Kong, a cheaty weapon gives Kong an even chance he shouldn’t have. It’s much more physical of a fight than some others in the series.

The final act is really unnecessary, should’ve been saved as a teaser for the next film. Or maybe they’ll just make a much better one next time.

★★★★½ — lost half a point for the child.