If you think you have contracted the Vampire virus:

  1. Isolate yourself in a safe, dark place. Basement apartments, laundry rooms, service tunnels, and abandoned movie theatres are often ideal.
  2. By night, prepare a coffin or crate full of the dirt of your homeland.
  3. By day, sleep in your box.
  4. Make lists of enemies and annoyances. Each night, visit them and drain their blood.
  5. Make lists of friends and family who may join you. Each night, visit them and share the virus.
  6. Go to a sporting goods store and acquire legal firearms for self-defense against cross-wielding lunatics. Do not rely on magic powers.
  7. Even if you do not have the Vampire virus, this is a perfectly fine way to live.