- Luigi’s Mansion: Eh. I liked the original some, largely the gag being the Wiimote was like a vacuum cleaner or Ghostbusters particle projector, but no interest in more.
- Katamari Damacy HD: Neat, but just a remaster. How’s that Final Fantasy VII remaster going, Squenix?
- Nintendo Switch Online: Actually saving your game data between consoles?! From anyone else, this is 20-year-old tech. Nintendo has just discovered “using the cloud to not be dicks”!
- NES controller for Switch! Though there are good 3rd-party ones, but sweet.
- Diablo III, some other ports. Eh.
- Town: Boring generic name for boring generic RPG, but it’s NEW content. So, good for you!
- Daemon x Machina: Maybe the worst-looking mecha game I’ve ever seen, like a reject from N64 suddenly revived for Switch.
- Yoshi’s Crafted World: Branded LittleBigPlanet ripoff.
- Asmodeee boardgame mobile adaptations. Yawn.
- Starlink: Is this the terrible Starfox game they previously canned, or a new one? I dunno. I loved Starfox64, but all since is disappointment.
- The World Ends With You: Fuck yeah. As previously noted, I resent the iOS port ripoff, but I loved the game.
- Team Sonic Racing: Arcade racers are a thing I love, but they showed a few seconds of gameplay. Who knows.
- Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles: How to turn your friends into bitter enemies, the videogame.
- Final Fantasy XII, and more ports: Nice, sure, but I’ve got every one I care about on iOS or Playstation. STILL NO VII HD, SQUENIX! WAY TO RIP MY HEART OUT A SECOND TIME LIKE YA DID WITH AERIS, YA FUCKS! I’m fine, it’s fine.
- Smash: Don’t care. Even with Isabelle. Enjoy getting face-wrecked by a fuzzy dog-girl, nerds.
- Animal Crossing: 2019. Fuck! I’ve been done with Pocket Camp for months. Minimum 3 more months, and “2019” in Nintendo Time probably means Q3 or Q4. My body is ready NOW.
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