The sky here is solid, chunky dust soup. Good thing I’m not solar-powered.
It’s tragicomic watching ULA, classic WWII to Cold War baby-killers turned NASA teat-suckers, desperately try to compete with SpaceX and Blue Origin at a tiny fraction of the cost to orbit or deep space.
Why doesn’t Boeing brag that the USS Enterprise, NCC-1701, will appear from time travel, tractor-beam a crew compartment into orbit, warp to Mars, and land astronauts for a day-trip? It’s just as real and plausible as the “SLS Block 2”, and much cheaper.
In grim future world, LA is uninhabitable (is funny joke: LA’s been the Hellmouth since the 1960s), and Earth is dying, except for the nice wooded river and pristine forests they keep visiting in this dumpster fire of a movie. Soldier boy Rick is gung ho to be converted into a genetic superman so he can colonize Titan.
Saturn’s moon, Titan. Which yes has an atmosphere, but there’s 0% Oxygen, not the 5% this dumb movie says. It’s so fucking cold -179°C your flesh would crystalize and shatter. There’s no Sun or even Saturn itself visible under the atmospheric haze, we know because we dropped the Huygens probe in and saw a muddy haze! No energy for plants, and if there’s life it’d be cold, slow, alien microbes or fish. Titan is not a place you can just bioengineer a person for. Mars might be dry and cold, but it’s a sunny day in Antarctica in comparison.
The military base at the end of the world looks an awful lot like a suburb with a couple nice houses the filmmakers rented, and some industrial ugly office building. Zero set decoration effort.
Everyone walks around spouting short technical phrases learned from Wikipedia, but clearly neither the writers nor the walking meatstick “actors” know what they mean. When anything goes wrong, these supposed mid-21st C scientists & soldiers all turn to prayer. To what god?
The “what went wrong” meetings after the soldiers start going wrong are hilariously bad, unlike any conversation you’d have about a failing project. “Catch up or stop holding me back!” “Nature is unpredictable. Everyone evolves in a different way.” ? Evolution works on populations, not individuals, you stupid stupid, STUPID writers.
Then suddenly the soldiers are all freaky Abe Sapien mutants with tentacle fingers and flying squirrel membrane wings, and it turns into a half-assed and joyless slasher flick.
★☆☆☆☆ and I wish I had the chemical lobotomy drug from the movie so I could unsee this.
- SpaceX Falcon Heavy, Starman video: A private rocket put an electric car in solar orbit on its way to Mars, with Bowie songs as accompaniment. Heinlein’s Delos Harriman from “The Man Who Sold the Moon” and “Requiem” would be proud but very confused at it taking until 2018. ★★★★★
- Collateral: Pizza boy is killed, and then an endlessly dull police procedural rarely looks at the procedure, instead a bunch of associated characters stop and stare in silence, with occasional whinging, which is to say they’re English. The immigration story about the victim’s family could be interesting, but it’s told very slowly and haltingly. Billie Piper is awful and petulant, which is to say she’s Billie Piper. Labour MP is a whiner, which is to say he’s a Labour MP. A whiny lesbian COE priest shacked up with a cute Vietnamese girl can’t be happy despite living in the first decade in history she wouldn’t be burned at the stake. The killer’s story isn’t well-told, but there’s a story there. For who the killer is, their operational security skills are amateurish and just plain stupid.
Cinematography is annoying, often massively desaturated, out-of-focus “artsy” shots that just look like nothing, then conversations are very hot, flipping camera between people. I hate this soap opera shit, I prefer a cooler, movie-like style. It’s not all teal/orange, but it’s not natural lighting, either.
Gave up on this after E2. I have got to stop watching English crime dramas, because my usual mild Anglophobia at these physically and mentally ugly people is turning into full-on “reenact the Revolutionary War”. Back to French, Dutch, and Scandinavian stuff, and I think there’s some Korean shows I haven’t seen.
- Borderliner: Norwegian cop Niko goes home to his small-town family of cops and then gets tangled up in a murder his brother is involved in, and partnered with a very pretty blonde. Procedure isn’t bad, doesn’t jump around between characters too much. Norwegians seem to just say what they mean (or speak a lie straight up) and get on with the plot, which is so refreshing after a buncha whinging English. They are professional brooders, grim figures casting grim shadows even when young and nominally happy, but it comes off stoic and not whiny.
Their reluctance to throw the obvious psychopath in the group to the wolves makes this take longer than needed. Niko’s prior case is hanging like Chekov’s gun for a long time until it goes off.
The War on Some Drugs that drives the plot is stupid, and these stoic, quiet Norwegians and Swedes don’t really have the cutthroat mentality and heavy firearms to do serious drug business.
Anyway, eight eps in, it’s done and ends on a dark, quiet brood. ★★★★☆
- Death in Paradise: Still going at S4. Stupid fun, tho Humphrey is the most pathetic detective ever.
I’m ready to see the Sun go out because we no longer worship and make human sacrifice to Huitzilopochtli, are you?
Back later with my own photos.