What I’m Watching: Unbelievable

A police procedural about a Washington/Colorado area rapist, adapted from an NPR piece. I’ll say up front I watched this in a couple sittings, it kept my attention mostly, but also I didn’t like it and it’s not entirely worth watching.

What’s mostly unbelievable are the caricatures. This show may be proof that artificial intelligence or aliens are here: Nothing Human would be able to write something this in-Human and artificial. As a case it’s interesting; as writing it’s bizarre.

First ep, the unbelieved victim is cute but fragile-looking, and so turns out to be a complete flake. First with poor recall of a traumatic event, then folding under hostile interrogation. The fucking pigs who take her statement and harass her into recanting are the worst kind of obnoxious honkie state-sanctioned gun-thugs, rather than any kind of police; they have no personalities or lives beyond this. Her ex foster parents are treacherous, the affectless, sociopathic stepmom slanders her to the pigs, the foster dad is played by Brent Sexton, the traitor sheriff from Justified, scumbag ex-LAPD (making him a double scumbag) in Bosch, one of my favorite heavy thugs in anything he plays, here he’s almost normal just being a rotten unsupportive asshole. “It’s nothing personal” he says calmly shooing off a foster daughter clearly in a distressed panic.

Second ep, the perfect victim is inhumanly steady (massively, morbidly overweight, but nobody ever brings it up), talked to the rapist and got a full description and some personal info. The nice cop on this case is a woman, and cares, and uses good psychology and is diligent in her investigation, never interrogates… Much of the ep is the nice cop’s personal life. Just impossibly smart for a cop, and sweet within limits, total Mary Sue.

Third ep, tough bitch cop in Colorado can’t accept help or “no”, can’t apologize, and acts like Dirty Harry on a bad hair day. Another victim with the same MO, this time a fairly unhelpful middle-aged black woman, but maybe the first non-caricature person? The mathematician friend of the steady victim is an unbelievable asshole machine-person, because of course that’s a mathematician caricature. Flake victim from first ep is being harassed online now, apparently unaware you can turn off a phone and don’t need to let people post on your badly-TV-whitewashed Facebook page; or even have one. But the caricature is that online harassment can’t be escaped, so this show leans 200% into it destroying her already shitty life. Her nice not-quite-boyfriend is friendly and nonthreatening but of course that’s because he’s religious, not because he’s got a personality.

Fourth ep, they’ve finally gone to the Feebies for help. I had a weird reaction to Agent Billy Taggart’s name; turns out it’s the same as Marky Wahlberg’s dirty cop in Broken City (a bad but not unwatchable drama), probably no relation but weird coincidence. Additional coincidence, slight “what?” reaction every time I hear it, flake girl’s PD lawyer is Mr Hughes. Finally another non-caricature appears, a college student I thought at first might be a rape victim as well, with as nervous as he was, but instead ratted out a college campus rapist, who is the very picture of a douchebro campus rapist, zero effort.

Eps 5-7 are straight police procedural, interrupted by flake girl repelling everyone she knows, and telling a therapist about surviving in zombie shows. Nice cop and Dirty Grace finally catch the rapist, have some character development at long last; not a lot, but they’re less walking outlines now. There’s a lot of “all cops are wifebeaters” and “men have no idea that rape is traumatic and urgent” which came directly from a very special episode of Law & Order: SVU. Otherwise the show finally found its stride, something it’s good at.

Ep 8 finally they discover flake girl was telling the truth, the fucking pig has to face his fuckup and torture of the girl. Which I don’t believe, from the zero character development he ever got, that he’s capable of; a real fucking pig would fight evidence kicking and screaming. Court goes perfectly and takes no time, which is impossible. Perp says he “knows he can’t be out there and was never going to stop”, which is not what convicted rapists usually say. Then flake girl gets everything she wants and buys a very unsafe car and has a series of fantasy closure moments.

I almost hate this. When there’s procedural, it’s good; when it’s robotically repeating trite lines from paper-thin characters, it’s the worst shitshow on streaming. Nobody involved in writing or directing this is a Human, or has ever met a Human, or even heard recordings of Humans speaking.

★½☆☆☆

Be like Luke. Delete Facebook.

I deleted mine a few years ago, and it’s great to be free. See also:

Though since then, micro.blog has stalled out and is the ugliest, least capable of the social networks I’m connected to. It’s a useful comment system on my posts.

Fediverse, whether Mastodon or Pleroma, is much more capable, a W3C standard, and is growing fast without most of the problems of “social networks”. The former App.Net community is at Appdot.net.

Perilar: Dark Weaver

Perilar was my favorite of my games, an original iPhone RPG (loosely inspired by Rogue, Ultima, & Zelda). Alas, the App Store is a pain in the ass to stay current in, and Perilar needed updates I wasn’t willing to jump thru Apple’s hoops to deliver, so it’s been gone from the store for a few years. Does anyone even remember me?

Then I wrote & released Brigand, a stripped-down realtime roguelike, which apparently everyone got mad at either because it was too hard (it was, but I liked that), or cost $9.99 which is SO MUCH MONEY on the goddamned App Store. And again the App Store made it obsolete and it wasn’t reasonable to update it.

So I got back to a new desktop version of Perilar. I wrote a JS prototype (Fallen Kingdom) that wasn’t fast enough to be usable, but let me rapidly test a bunch of new things. Now in Scheme, after a very long time, I have a nice, fast, nearing-complete sequel to Perilar: Dark Weaver.

Where I am right now:

  • World has both hand-designed and random sectors, tho the latter need some smoothing out to look like real terrain. I can walk across the world, at least until I hit impassable sectors. Porting my complex map and dungeon generators in is the next task. I have spent the last 6 months building features in the Town of Amity, and I’m ready to move on!
  • Most of the tile art is from the DawnLike set, with a lot of customization and new art where needed, and I’ve stuck to the DawnLike palette, it really has a nice old-timey look, a little less garish than the Atari 800, brighter than C64.
  • Player art isn’t going to be these sprites, but the paperdolls I have are 2-facing (East/West), and I’d prefer 4- or 8-facing (you can move diagonally!); so I still need to find or draw (oh no) those.
  • NPCs have dialogue trees, stores, and special abilities (like the Innkeeper healing you; they’re not super-powered).
  • Combat, with multiple attack/defense options, works in my test area. I haven’t spread monsters around the sectors yet, but they’ve been developed and tested in the JS prototype.
  • Loot is extensive, magical weapons and armor have all the complex options you’d expect. I’m being a hardass on encumbrance in this one, because you can drop loot anywhere and come back for it. (Not quite the hardest possible ass; gold doesn’t count towards weight, which it does in tabletop RPGs!)
  • Spells beyond Magic Missile are not implemented at all yet; will probably ship with only the dozen basic spells from the original release, and advanced spells added in an update. You won’t find anyone to teach those for a long time anyway. Despite that, Wizards are still useful with magic wands.
  • New bosses, boss arenas, deeper dungeons, main quest, and sidequests.
  • At least one sector will be user-modifiable, tho I don’t know if it’ll be in the first release. You can buy furniture and walls, and fix up your own town. There’s useful things you’ll be able to get from that. (The building mechanic half works now; gathering doesn’t).
  • Currently tested on Mac, should be buildable with no or very few changes to Windows, Linux, BSD, etc., but I need to get proper test environments for all of those.
  • Will be for sale on itch.io sometime this year. Price TBD.

I feel super awkward about self-promotion, but I do have a Patreon, and for Gold level you’ll get betas; I haven’t explained this, but at any level, when you’ve paid up whatever the cover price of the game ends up being, you’ll get a full release license for it, too.

darkweaver-2020-01-08-2
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What I’m Watching: Dracula (2020)

Three 90-minute episode/movies on Netflix, each in a very different style.

The undead makeup is pretty good, there’s not a lot of crazy special effects or fights, but lots of latex gags. There’s a wolf transformation scene using some latex and raspberry jam, and some mannequin head gags. Fun practical effects, not too much CGI bullshit. The sets are great, the castle’s a maze of twisty passages, like the Winchester house built in stone.

E1 is much like the first part of the novel, with interrogation instead of letters. Johnny Harker (John Heffernan) awakes in a convent, looking like the walking dead. Sister Agatha Van Helsing (Dolly Wells) interrogates him about his improbable escape from Dracula’s (Claes Bang) castle. Dracula’s a charming middle-aged monster, Van Helsing’s a bad nun, but an excellent monster hunter, Johnny’s the same wanker he is in the book. This gets progressively more horrifying, with one of the best vampire confrontations I’ve ever seen.

E2, Dracula goes on a boat ride, with a murder mystery aboard the Demeter. Fun, drawn out in a way I’ve never seen in a vampire film, but the other actors and characters aren’t great; the one-handed quartermaster(?) and the captain are just stereotypes but competent. They were clearly trying to make Dr Sharma into a new protagonist, but we don’t get enough of his backstory except unpleasant flashbacks, and he doesn’t accomplish as much as Van Helsing. Agatha is conspicuously missing for most of it, which is a shame. The end of E2 genuinely surprised me a couple of times, which happens rarely enough in anything I need to call it out. I get all the “twists” in everything, I know every genre convention, and this one was smarter than I am.

Alas, E3 was an incredible disappointment, don’t watch it. SPOILERS ahead:










It’s not a vampire Agatha who greets Dracula on a modern beach, but a descendent working for a Johnathan Harker Foundation. Then a lawyer Renfield gets the mass murderer released, and immediately helps plan more murders; the Foundation could at least have fried Dracula then and there. Then there’s a lot of Kids Today™️ including this Lucy Westenra (100 years apart from her girlfriend Mina), night-clubbing and fucking around. Dracula immediately adapts to Tinder/Grindr/Postmates delivering victims to him, but the writers are unaware that police could track missing persons thru contacts in the apps. Lucy’s fate should be a warning, if you’re engaged, don’t let someone who’s not your fiancé suck you.

In the first ep, and somewhat in the second, there’s a deeper question about the undead, vampires, and what Dracula is. Why do so many of the myths seem to work on him?

Are they going metaphysical? Reveal a shocking truth behind Christianity, such as Jesus was a vampire (I’ve used that along with the Merovingian conspiracy in RPGs before)? Or do science & reason win and it’s a virus, like Ultraviolet? No such luck. E3 has the most vapid excuse for an answer I’ve ever heard, everyone involved in writing that irrational twaddle should die of shame.

The first 2 eps are two of the best vampire movies in years. Absolutely nothing of value happens in E3.

★★★★½ for E1-2, ☆☆☆☆☆ for E3.

Judgement Day Wednesday Music

Those who shout the loudest impose their will
Upholding laws that serve the few
Declaring peace while the sirens sing
In the name of progress, the name of madness
Drum beats faster, crowd shouts louder
And chaos replaces order

I want justice for the voice that can’t be heard
Vindication for every suffering and hurt
Let retribution hold dominion over earth
Because Judgement Day’s not coming
Judgement Day’s not coming soon enough
—VNV Nation, “Nemesis”

Tildeverse

The Tildeverse is a bunch of shared UNIX or UNIX-like servers (in reality, all the ones I know of are Linux, which <sigh>), with individual user accounts, or “tildes” after the way you refer to a home directory in a URL or UNIX command line: ~name.

Anyone can sign up for one of these, tilde.town got back to me in a couple days over the holiday and I expect they’re faster during reasonable times.

So over the holiday I made a simple little web page, then wrote some ASCII-art (and Emoji-art) games in Javascript, and now I’ve written an operator’s manual for a fictional computer, the TTMS-76 (Tilde Town Microcomputer System ’76). I’m thinking about making some 3D renders of it, patriotic colors to match the American Bicentennial in 1976. I’ll probably mirror all this on mysticdungeon.club when I work out what I’m doing with that.

There’s a bunch of little command-line utilities on tilde, like alpine for local mail, feels for blogging from text editor, botany for watering a plant, poem to get a random poem, chat for a friendly local-system IRC; there’s also a public IRC on Tildeverse (but it’s more what you’d expect from a public IRC, so you may not like that).

If you used to use a shared UNIX server, this will all be very familiar and fun. If you haven’t, it’s a great way to learn more about command-line tools, how shared hosting works, how to write HTML the old-fashioned way, and so on.

Software Principles for 2020

This is both for myself, and to decide what software I’ll tolerate in my presence in the future.

  1. No lag. All UI must respond and be responsive again within 100ms. Most everyone has many cores in their CPUs and a massively parallel GPU not doing that much, you can spare ONE to run your work thread. Stop with the long animation shit. 100ms is plenty to see a shadow moved from one place to another, where there is now an interactive UI.
  2. No load screens. If you can’t preload “instantly”, be functional, show a usable menu while background loading. Media streaming needs to buffer, but you can show a poster frame instead of empty space.
  3. No ads or spyware. If you can’t subsidize your software some other way, don’t ship software. Or as the late very lamented Bill Hicks said, “If anyone here is in advertising or marketing, kill yourself!” (and of course there’s ads on youtube; so maybe I need to find a better video hosting system? I know there’s a fediverse-based video thing)
  4. No custom binary formats. Save your data in JSON or some other common system (plist on Mac, etc), so users can export & manipulate it from their own tools.
  5. No sites without syndication. If you have a web site or blog, you MUST support RSS or Atom, or both. Failure to do so should have you removed from the Internet.
  6. No unsecure connections. I know it’s hard to add https the first time, and some older services can’t be easily wrapped, but every http connection is a chance for false information to be fed to you, your computer compromised, your information to be stolen.