- Bright: Shadowrun 2017, crossed with Alien Nation and Training Day.
“Everywhere I go, why have Orcs always gotta be the bad guys?” “Don’t look at me, man, Mexicans still get shit for the Alamo.”
Well, the racist assholes have a point with the Orcs. I dislike the green-pale streak makeup, and they just have penis-noses instead of proper pig-noses. They’re doing properly menial and militant work, but I got no sympathy for the species. Elves are as graceful and psychopathic as you’d like. Other than a single shot of a Centaur, and mention of Dwarfs, no others of the “9 Races” are ever brought up. Humans of every color seem to have no beef, since they can “Other” the non-Humans.
Somehow culture & tech are the same as our 2017, despite a massive war against a Dark Lord 2000 years ago; I think the Dark Ages starting 400 years early and full of magic races would change things. Shadowrun had the excuse that magic and monsters were gone for thousands of years (since 3113 BCE), until the Sixth World started (in 2011 CE).
Almost all the secondary chars are awfully written, and parts of the plot just dangle and vanish.
Reasonably good fight & chase scenes. The Magic Wand (“a nuclear bomb that grants wishes”) is a good McGuffin, but far too OP.
The fighting skills of even high-level Elven mages are overstated. Maybe the Elven assassins, sure, but a mage without her Wand?
Mostly I enjoyed it, but it’s basically a B-movie with a huge budget. Hawk the Slayer is a better film. Netflix is already working on a sequel, with Will Smith coming back.
★★★½☆ -
Longmire: Final season was adequate, but almost entirely resolving dangling plot threads from the characters, not standalone cowboy/Indian rez mysteries which is what I started watching for. Lou Diamond Philips as Henry Standing Bear has very little to do, and semi-useless NPCs spend a lot of time on screen. Even so, the Cheyenne (and one Crow) characters and politics are worth watching it for.
★★★☆☆ for S6, ★★★★☆ or more for S1-5. -
The Magicians: Pretty young rich white people (PYRWP) discover they have magic (no Hagrid) and are spared the hardship of going to Harvard or Yale. Whiniest of the PYRWP discovers his favorite fairy tale book is real, so doesn’t mind that his only friend is kicked out. Token minority is an unbelievable asshole who should get cancer of the hate organ. Ice princess, catty slut, and gay slut PYRWP follow whiny boy and token asshole around despite their average Intelligence, Wisdom, & Charisma scores of -6. Gay slut kinda grows on me as he has some self-awareness. Ice princess has unrealistic expectations of her whiny, mentally ill “boyfriend”.
Magic school rejects turn on each other like New York rats with less empathy. The magic system is nonsense which exists only to show cheesy visual FX and make hedge mages behave like crack junkies.
Racism is overwhelming. Don’t be black in this show: SPOILER: Black Dean is blinded & hands maimed. A black magician goes catatonic & is “mercy killed”. In S2 the four PYRWP all get crowned as kings and queens, while the token asshole gets his hands cut off like a slave in Columbus’ Hispaniola or the Belgian Congo. I don’t know if this show is made by actual Nazis or just ignorant honkies.
But the plot saves this from being a total train wreck. I love the fairy tale world gone bad and the broken kids who went into it; it’s not TOO fairy-tale but doesn’t operate according to reason. The villains are there for good reasons, and are willing to do anything. Everyone uses what shitty skills they have to solve problems.
With a totally different cast and less entitled, racist premise, this could be a good show instead of a hate-binge.
This also matches somewhat with the magic school RPG I’ve been designing, tho the PCs aren’t required to be PYRWP, and my magic system isn’t finger-twiddling gibberish.
★★½☆☆ -
It Comes at Night: After a deadly plague, taking in tenants is a bad idea especially if you’re paranoid. Excruciatingly slow and often repetitive, setup as something like a monster movie but it’s not at all. Like The Road without the sense of camaraderie, adventure, and hope. Credit: The racially mixed cast is not abused for racism.
★★★☆☆ -
Fortitude (Amazon): Arctic outpost town, surrounded by hungry polar bears. Norwegians funding a hotel, wrecked by local problems. “We have no crime. So we don’t know if he’s a good sheriff or a bad sheriff.” The latter, it turns out.
And then there’s a really weird murder. Kinda deliberately like Twin Peaks and Northern Exposure with only a very little humor. I don’t like anyone but the crazy old guy and the American investigator, everyone else is self-destructive in annoying ways. And yet… Still going. Good winter viewing. As the emergency gets worse, people get worse to each other, which is what I like to see.
Accents are all over the place, London English, but then there’s Irish, American, and some spectacularly bad Russian-like English, some of which are supposed to be Norwegian. I watch too many subtitled Scandinavian crime dramas to be able to tolerate this lack-of-translation bullshit anymore.
I dunno if having Frank and his son, the only black people for 1000 miles, who SPOILER REDACTED, is racist but it’s not great.
Very unhappy with their “Next Time” spoilers right BEFORE the fucking credits with no warning. Hate you, stupid Sky TV producers who do this shit.
★★★★½
I don’t want to be harping on the racism, it’s not my fight, but it’s so obvious in some shows. I feel like the last few years have had more non-white characters but treated them with far worse racism than before.
There’s a lot of sexism, rapes, and sex-shaming in The Magicians and Fortitude, too, but I have a hard time telling that apart from “normal” TV prudery where all sex except in obedient 1950s marriages is Bad & Wrong.