World of Warcraft Classic

This is pretty exciting.

  • I started in original World of Warcraft as a Dwarf Hunter (IIRC, I made a Nelf Rogue first, but that did NOT work for me), determined quickly that I hated Alliance as a bunch of juvenile Nazi-wannabes and switched to the real heroes, The Horde!, played an Undead Mage, didn’t progress as much as I’d like due to real life but had fun.
  • Burning Crusade was great, and rather stereotypically I started over with a Blood Elf Warlock (selama ashal’anore!) and maxed out, did some raiding, loved that version of the game. Outland is amazing, that’s some of the best content WoW or any game ever made.
  • Lich King was OK but kind of same-y and grindy—why make Dalaran when Shattrath exists and is better? Why are there two indistinguishable forest zones and two indistinguishable undead zones?
  • Cataclysm wrecked everything in the world and in character; it did add some detail to areas that needed it, but it’s not worth it.
  • Pandaria had a nice setting and the Monk was a fun class, with beer as a powerup drink!, but letting the Pandas choose their faction made no sense (Goblins in particular, and all the neutral-ish races in general, should’ve been able to choose, too!), and the higher-level content is trash.
  • Everything after is even worse. After 15 years, what we’ve learned is that Blizzard can’t improve content, only make it worse; everyone good left after Classic and Burning Crusade, and institutionally they aren’t able to hire best-of-breed writers or game designers. Restoring Classic is really the only option they have.

So, I’ve been following this WoW Classic thing a while, since in 2016 when the Nostalrius, RIP and Elysium private servers let me play classic “vanilla” World of Warcraft again; I was frustrated by bugs, and basically couldn’t use airships or ships because they’d drop me halfway in an out-of-level zone or the ocean, but it was interesting to have a version of WoW that didn’t suck. As previously, I played an Undead Mage; that or Warlock seems most likely when Classic goes live. I am what I am, which is an evil sorcerous corpse.

Crendor and ClassiCast have done excessively exhaustive dialogues of what they want from Classic, which is a super-conservative “No Changes!”. I’m much more moderate about this. If they add achievements (added in Lich King), pet battles (added in Pandaria), barbershop (added in Lich King), and use new models (added in Warlords of Draenor), I’d be fine with that; those improve the game without changing any balance. Dungeon/Raid Finder wouldn’t bother me, I likely wouldn’t use them, since I loathe PUGs (pick-up groups, not tiny inbred dogs), but they’re a boon to people in no guild or a small guild that can’t organize those things. The actual gameplay should be like the last patch of Classic, or the last patch of Burning Crusade when/if they add that content.

I’d totally be up for getting a “Virtual Ticket” for Blizzcon just to try the demo, except it’s $50! That’s like, a case of beer and a bottle of whiskey, which is a far more entertaining weekend (please drink more responsibly than me). Minecon on Saturday is free; it’s not a real convention anymore (I went to Minecon Vegas back when the audience was much more adult). How the fuck does Blizzard justify $50 for some videos?! So anyway guess I’ll just watch Youtubes of the demo when they come out.

End of Lineage

During my long dark OS install time, I did something I never do: I browsed the iOS App Store, which is full of F2P garbage. Installed Lineage II, since that looked the least terrible, “played” up to level 15. It autoruns and autofights quests, there’s nothing to actually do except pop open loot boxes, and you get free top-tier gear right at the start so if you open & equip it, you instantly win all fights.

Character customization consists of choosing from 3 hairstyles, and there’s a shop to buy a couple more which look identical, and hair dyes; I was able to give my dude a dark purple ponytail instead of generic oatmeal-colored ponytail, but he otherwise looks like every other dark elf.

There’s infuriating chat spam everywhere, and announcements of random people in zone winning loot boxes, scrolling over the main display; I turned off every notification and it was still there.

It’s not even a fucking game. Uninstalled.

My standard for games isn’t that high: Once a day I log into DanMachi: Memoria Freese (probably not much longer, I’ve got max level on all my main chars, can win PVP against everyone except the whales, no reason to keep going until S2 of the anime gets converted into game story, probably 2 years away), and spent a year playing Animal Crossing: Pocket Camp which has even less mechanics, but scratched my item-collecting/room-decorating itch. I’m perfectly fine with gachapon, as long as 1) It’s fair with stats listed right by the button, 2) You can progress without paying real money; I’ll pay some real money voluntarily if they don’t force me, I delete and get angry if they try to rob me.

SIGH. When is Elder Scrolls: Blades coming out?!

TES: Legends

TES: Legends finally gets its new-developer update! It might be playable now!

Update on Steam … update again because that update needed an update … binary not found. OK, look in the local files, it’s renamed “app.app”, which is stupid. Click, error.

status page:

Current Status: TES Legends is currently undergoing maintenance.

I mean, it’s Bethesda, so I’m lucky it didn’t clip thru the floor and fall out of the world.

Maybe tomorrow.

Nintendon’t Fake NES Controllers

One of the few things I liked in the latest Nintendo Direct was “NES controller for Switch! Though there are good 3rd-party ones, but sweet.”

Turns out this is a complete bullshit product: ArsTechnica says they only work with online, emulated NES. There’s the Dick Nintendo I know and barely tolerate because they hate their players.

So, 8BitDo is still the best option.

Nintendo Direct

Nintendo Direct 2018-09-13

  • Luigi’s Mansion: Eh. I liked the original some, largely the gag being the Wiimote was like a vacuum cleaner or Ghostbusters particle projector, but no interest in more.
  • Katamari Damacy HD: Neat, but just a remaster. How’s that Final Fantasy VII remaster going, Squenix?
  • Nintendo Switch Online: Actually saving your game data between consoles?! From anyone else, this is 20-year-old tech. Nintendo has just discovered “using the cloud to not be dicks”!
  • NES controller for Switch! Though there are good 3rd-party ones, but sweet.
  • Diablo III, some other ports. Eh.
  • Town: Boring generic name for boring generic RPG, but it’s NEW content. So, good for you!
  • Daemon x Machina: Maybe the worst-looking mecha game I’ve ever seen, like a reject from N64 suddenly revived for Switch.
  • Yoshi’s Crafted World: Branded LittleBigPlanet ripoff.
  • Asmodeee boardgame mobile adaptations. Yawn.
  • Starlink: Is this the terrible Starfox game they previously canned, or a new one? I dunno. I loved Starfox64, but all since is disappointment.
  • The World Ends With You: Fuck yeah. As previously noted, I resent the iOS port ripoff, but I loved the game.
  • Team Sonic Racing: Arcade racers are a thing I love, but they showed a few seconds of gameplay. Who knows.
  • Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles: How to turn your friends into bitter enemies, the videogame.
  • Final Fantasy XII, and more ports: Nice, sure, but I’ve got every one I care about on iOS or Playstation. STILL NO VII HD, SQUENIX! WAY TO RIP MY HEART OUT A SECOND TIME LIKE YA DID WITH AERIS, YA FUCKS! I’m fine, it’s fine.
  • Smash: Don’t care. Even with Isabelle. Enjoy getting face-wrecked by a fuzzy dog-girl, nerds.
  • Animal Crossing: 2019. Fuck! I’ve been done with Pocket Camp for months. Minimum 3 more months, and “2019” in Nintendo Time probably means Q3 or Q4. My body is ready NOW.

Five Games (and then some)

The following challenge/meme on Fediverse is interesting:

“If you had to recommend someone play 5 games to really get a feel for you/your tastes, what five would you pick?”

Videogames:

  1. Ultima II (1982)
  2. Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (1984)
  3. Alternate Reality: The City (Atari 800 version, 1985)
  4. Doom (1993)
  5. Elder Scrolls Online (2014)

Runners Up:

  1. Star Raiders (1979)
  2. Telengard (1982)
  3. Pitfall! (1982)
  4. Omega (1987)
  5. Llamatron (1992)

Tabletop:

  1. Dungeons & Dragons Basic Set (ed. Eric Holmes, 1977)
  2. Ogre (1977)
  3. Gamma World (1978)
  4. Tunnels & Trolls (4th-5th Ed, 1977-1979)
  5. Rolemaster (1980)

Runners Up:

  1. Star Fleet Battles (1979)
  2. Champions (1981)
  3. Stormbringer (1st Ed, accept no substitutes, 1981)
  4. Call of Cthulhu (1981)
  5. Kult (1993)

Why Even Make Software

Long week at the grindstone on the game, actual gameplay is mostly done, but a lot of the fine details of UI, animations, and music are janky or nonexistent: “the first 80% takes 100% of the schedule, the last 20% takes another 100%”, as they say.

So I may take beta-testers and let them at it soon; comment/email if you’d like in. If you’ve played any of my games before, you know what you’re getting, but much bigger:

Perilar: Fallen Kingdom, an entire world of Perilar, massive dungeons deep into the earth, towers up into the sky, hard tactical roguelike RPG. Mac/Windows/Linux.

I’m running late to think about marketing now, but: Should I Kickstarter for the final stretch? Set up a Patreon? Those feel like begging or grifting, even though I support some stuff that way. I prefer to release, try to get copies in front of the people who’d like it, collect money. Advertising used to be viable for user acquisition, now I suspect a large part of my potential audience are savvy enough to ad-block, and giant horrible things like EA drive the CPK up. There won’t be ads or IAP in the game.

Apple killing the affiliate program could not come at a worse time. Kick all the little guys while we’re down, Phil Schiller, that’s what you’re for.

And then there’s always people who say “just release it as open source!”, by which they mean I should starve and die in the street, and no software except command-line developer tools should ever be made. Yeah, that’s not an acceptable business plan.

Shin Megami Tensei Liberation Dx2

Sweet, a new SMT game (not a Persona game, which are OK but not really my thing)! You are literally using your mobile phone to run a game where you use a mobile phone to run a game which lets you fight real (in the game?) demons that can only be seen with a mobile phone. … Look, man, I just play it I don’t do sanity.

Like the classic SMT games, you start with Pixie and go out and recruit more demons by talking to them before fighting. Then you merge them together in blasphemous rituals to make more powerful demons.

Sadly there’s no grid-by-grid dungeon crawl, just the usual mobage missions with a series of fights, and some story visual-novel stuff.

[UPDATE]: There is a dungeon crawl, you just have to unlock it after the first chapter of the story missions! The first one is very small, but I presume they’ll get bigger and more complex. So it’s a real SMT game after all!

I mostly like the style of this, and there seems to be hundreds of demons to summon and create. The music varies from rather good JPop to some of the most boring elevator music loops ever invented to drive humans to Black Friday rampages.

The one negative is the “Megakin” tour guide/”Pro Youtube Personality”/most annoying NPC in a game since Navi and Tingle from Zelda games. Holy shit I hate this guy, and I hate being forced to tap on buttons to fulfil a “tutorial”. Just let me play and make my own mistakes, SEGA. The gun-crazed chick NPC partner is insane but amusing; who or what do you get if you’re a female avatar?

My friend ID is EG93SHUH (Home screen, ? icon, Search tab)

Minecraft Aquatic Update

I’ve been playing with the many betas and pre-releases, and Mojang’s software quality is… job NaN as usual. Each version would break something that worked before, add new completely unrelated bugs, as if (and in fact we know this to be the case) they don’t have any tests, they don’t even have a “feature”, they just hack on the source at random whim until they feel like dumping it, and people report bugs and sometimes those get fixed.

Anyway, this “official release” is somewhat stable, but today’s new bug is: My chicken farm dies out. I use water flows from the corners of a 5×5 pit to put all the chickens and their egg drops into a hopper in the center, but in this version baby chickens drown in even a thin stream of water, probably due to Mojang “fixing” zombies not sinking & becoming aqua zombies.

Press X to Review

Picked up Life is Strange freebie episode on Steam. Super aggravating controls: Almost no control over the camera, even less over the cursor: Find the off-target mouse circle, drag slowly to a command. Running is not always available, let alone default as it should be for playability. Most cutscenes can’t be skipped. I don’t know if I’d like the story or the game, because the first few areas drove me insane.

I’ve played and enjoyed a lot of walking simulators, like Proteus, Dear Esther, Gone Home (had to massively increase mouse sensitivity), and Connor Sherlock’s games. These mostly use standard FPS WASD controls, mouse crosshair, and E to use.

And a lot of story games, like David Cage’s Heavy Rain & Beyond Two Souls. Cage’s games make heavy use of dual-stick controllers and “mash X now!” quick-time events, have minimal free will to go off the rails, but they aren’t frustrating to play.

And physics toys, like Garry’s Mod and Goat Simulator. These have dead standard FPS controls and total player freedom.

LiS is the first game in a long time I can’t progress in.